Apparently I'm a Crunchy Mama!

I stumbled across this great blog post today about crunchy mamas. Don't know what crunchy mama means? Typically, I like to think of a crunchy person as hippy-like in their views on parenting. It's always made me laugh a bunch when some mothers start spouting their naturals views to me and how I'm killing my child because of __________ problem/activity. 
     However, upon reading this satirical piece, I found myself ascending to the higher end of the crunchy scale. I guess I'm crunchier than I thought.

Here's the link to the page.


http://crappypictures.com/crappy-mohs-scale-crunchy-mamas/



Level 1: Talc: According to this, I'm already well on my way up the scale. 
     Planning to breastfeed? Of course! 
     I don't have a BabyBjorn but several similar ones, only because those dang Bjorn ones are so expensive. 
    And I definitely use glass food receptacles, though by no means am limited to them.

Baby-carrying cutie

She passed out

Level 2: Gypsum: DIY and handmade things? Check! I was on Pinterest like crazy before my first child was born, looking for every possibility of decorating within the confines of my own household.            
   Garage sales? I'd say the facebook sites that I belong to qualify as one big garage sale for 2nd hand baby stuff.
    And almond butter was a big phase I went through. I couldn't get enough!

Thank-you Pinterest for the inspiration to make my own nursing cover!

Level 3: Calcite: I made all my own baby food. Once the Baby Bullet entered my home, it was as simple as blending up a few ingredients (or a ton because I like to do a lot in advance!) and freezing them. Why buy expensive what's-really-in-it baby food when bananas, carrots, and peas are dirt cheap? 

Yay carrots!

     Flashing and noisemaking toys have never been my favourite, especially when learning in ECE that these really don't improve cognitive function at all.
    And since we don't have cable, the only screen time my daughter gets is when we watch the occasional movie or Saturday morning youtube clips with Daddy. 
    And I definitely have something similar to a ring-sling.

Baby in a sling

Sometimes we co-sleep

Level 4: Fluorite: Cloth diapers seemed pretty smart, since I was able to get a smokin' deal on them and they definitely helped ease the diaper bill every month. That being said, disposables at night made the most sense to me. And for outings. And for when we got lazy. 
     Breastfeeding is something I feel strongly about, particularly for myself. I could actually care less about others, since their child is not my problem. But seriously, I was refusing to have one of the nurses come by to help me with breastfeeding only days after my daughter was born. I didn't care if they had to kill me first and resuscitate me back to life--I was going to figure it out and do it myself! 
    And I definitely make quinoa...and love it. 

Level 5: Apatite: Ummm...we don't have TV? Does that count? 
    And I love mason jars=canned food. 

Canning pickles

    Other than that, maybe I don't qualify on this list since I'm a huge fan of spanking. Spanking all day, every day. Spanking is music to my ears. Oh the joys of spanking...(this is only partially joking, people).

Level 6: Orthoclase Feldspar:  Maybe this is getting iffy. Does 15 months sound like extended breastfeeding? Among my peers, yes. 

Nursing while working on my tan

     And my herb garden is started. I just love fresh herbs, especially if they are pretty hardy and can survive my lack of green thumb. 
     It was also a toss-up between buying a juicer or an espresso machine for Christmas this year. I'm still seriously considering juicing, probably because I love fruit and veggies way more if I can drink them. But espresso won out because I figured it would save on the latte cravings that cost a fortune from Starbucks.

Level 7: Quartz: I make jam, yesiree madam. 
     Vinegar is my favourite method of cleaning in the kitchen. 
     Teething necklaces have been looped around my daughter's neck from very early on. Do they really work? I actually haven't tested it. But they look cute and could serve a good purpose, so why not?
     My husband and I don't even watch television anymore. We have a TV that is hardly used, and no longer watch shows on the internet because (ashamed) our computer is too old to update to get the latest downloads. And we don't really miss it anymore. 

Level 8 was skipped as I could hardly contain myself from laughing at some of the ridiculousness of it all. Placenta-eating???? That's too Silence of the Lambs for me! 

 Level 9: Corundum: Okay, most of this is not me! But I'd like to say that I'm becoming a canning expert--peaches, pickles, jam, etc. And we grow a lot of our own fruit organically (meaning I do nothing and they grow, referring back to my lack of green thumb.): blueberries, pears, apples, grapes, currants, plums, asian pears, figs. My husband keeps telling me that we should just have a bunch of our own chickens for our own eggs and meat as well, which I am not opposed to. And most of our meat comes from wild moose or deer or family farm-raised beef. I'd say that's pretty crunchy.

Our meat for the year

Canning peaches with agave nectar. (I felt very crunchy just trying it with agave)

Some of our fruit 

Wild duck to eat!

Moving our blueberry bushes

A bumblebee pollinating my chives

One of our grape vines

    Does it also count if my husband pretty much rebuilt our entire house? 

 Level 10 was a diamond and someone who could care less about what people thought. So that's not me, now that I'm writing this for the world to see. 


 So there it is! This is definitely laughable, as the blog so states, but I can't help but be just a little bit proud of how much I actually do when I consider myself so far from the typical crunchy state. If vaccinations showed up, I might just be kicked off the entire grid, but we'll celebrate this small victory! 
   Fellow mamas! How crunchy are you?