Single Lady or Maternal Matron?

     I guess it's been a while since I've done some writing. Being a mom is hard work, and it's quite time-consuming. I always admire those moms who have time--or maybe they just pretend--to manage their family while decorating their house to suit Martha Stewart's satisfaction or making their own line of baby clothes. And here I thought I did well finally getting out of bed today. 
     It doesn't help that I've been sick. The flu is pretty nasty and when you wake up heaving, there isn't much joy in decking the halls with boughs of holly. Even when the baby wants to sleep all the time, I can't manage to even feed myself because changing a diaper is probably the extent of my activities for the day. Sickness is terribly exhausting. Don't get it!
      This brings me to a little side note. If you are sick, don't touch me. Don't touch my baby. If I know you're sick, I'll put a restraining order on you saying that you are not allowed to come within 100 metres of my family! Think my baby is cute? Well, how cute is she when she's dying at 4am with every known virus infecting her little body while her bleary-eyed parents try to catch a few winks. All because you thought that touching those chubby hands after you've sneezed all over yours was appropriate. Nice.
     Some days, I like to think about when I was a carefree newlywed. Scratch that...carefree single lady is more like it. (Husbands can be difficult too so I'm referring back to a time when I didn't have much trouble at all :) I see the posts of my single friends on facebook. And believe me, everything seems sooooooo exciting. 
     For instance:   "Going for sushi with friends! #ifriggenlovesushi  "
            (By the way morons, hashtags have no use on facebook. You're just trying to be trendy!)

      I can't remember the last time I had sushi. I couldn't have any when I was pregnant so that makes it a year already. And the thought of just getting to go out and eat continuously without an interrupting child seems heavenly!

    What about this one?   
                 "Mmmm! Starbucks coffee. Movie night. Party all night long!"
                     (I'm really making these up as I go because I'm not actually going to creep my friends' timelines to find an authentic quote)


     Okay, Starbucks is really only a reality when I'm trying to get shopping accomplished and my baby needs a nap. I then drive across town to a drive-through--because there is no way in the world I'm getting out the car with my sleeping baby--and order that lovely drink. Such a guilty pleasure as I drive back across town to finish my errands. Time wasted? 20 minutes. Nap accomplished. But I forgot to eat lunch, I guess so I'm starving. Stupid Starbucks.
     Then there's the movie part. I hardly ever go out to movies anymore. Just not a reality for new parents, unless you go to a drive-in movie and stay for two movies, thereby declaring afterwards, as you can barely make it home, that you will never again attempt such a feat. But seriously, every time my husband and I try to watch a 2 hour movie, it takes 3.5 hours. Yes, count that. Those aren't commercial breaks in there either. That's a baby that needs to be changed, diapered, fed, soothed, bathed, or put to bed. We're lucky if we even finish that dumb movie! 
     And lastly, to party all night long. That seems so middle school-ish. Sleepovers went all night. I don't know how I ate that much pizza or popcorn during those years, but it was awesome! Today's bedtime? 10:00pm. Sure, I'll stay up later than that if I'm just hanging out at home. However, it is very difficult to be anywhere else at that time. My brain just seems to shut down. When did I get so old?
     Some days I really mope around, wishing I had all the time in the world to do things I could do back in the day. I just cut off all my hair because it was so long and always up in a bun. Plus, wearing it down would cause a hair-pulling fiesta for daughter who happens to think that should be an active pastime. And now I wonder if I did the right thing. Yes, it is easier to style and make cute quickly--the key objective for a mother. Nevertheless, when I see all these girls with questionably long curly locks, I smack myself upside the head and question my sanity. 
     Oh, to have the endless time to spend on entirely on myself! To be free to go wherever, whenever, and with whoever. I can understand why it would be frightening for an single adult to give that up to become married, or have children.
     Here's the kicker though. I will never regret having this baby. Sure, I miss "me" time, but the moments with my family are incomparable! 
     I found something amazing this week as I've tried to help my daughter with her raging fever. All she wants to do is cuddle with me. My daughter has never really been a cuddler. Despite this, sickness has brought out the most adorable eight and a half month girl who just wants to lean on my shoulder and rest. I hold her close and she gazes up at me. Such trust. Such innocence. I would do anything in my power to help her out. 
     So what if I go to bed early? I'm blessed to have my best friend beside me, warming up my side before I snuggle in and share a few laughs. Maybe a little sumthin' sumthin'. And let me just tell you there is nothing more sexy than a husband who takes care of his wife and kid!
     Single and free was a thing of the past. I'm accepting that. Eventually when I decide to have 12 more kids, reality will set in. For now, I'm becoming content with seeing my daughter grow, both physically and in her personality. 
    

    By the way, I'm really glad I can get over these child-bearing years while I'm still young. Because when I'm forty, I think my body won't recuperate as well with the sleep-deprivation and pregnancy weight! Kudos to those who do!